“I Really Wanna Kill Him’: Missouri Mother Accused of Filming Herself Smothering Baby Boy With Hand and Blanket

A woman in Missouri is behind bars after authorities say she repeatedly abused her infant son and recorded it to send to a friend.

On April 15, Emma Rigdon, 20, allegedly slapped her son’s leg and put her hand over his mouth and nose to stop him from breathing, according to court documents obtained by The River Front Times.

Rigdon, who was staying at a shelter for homeless mothers in Old North St. Louis, allegedly filmed the incident and then sent it to a friend.

Shortly after, Rigdon allegedly filmed another video, this time putting her hand and a blanket over the baby’s face, causing him to cry, flail his arms and try to pull at the blanket.

Rigdon also sent this video to the friend, officials said.

Police also obtained text messages that Rigdon sent regarding the abuse of the baby: “IDK when I do that, I feel happy like adrenalin rush. I be stopping right before he dies. Last time, he was blue. I really wanna kill him but I don’t want to go to jail so. It’s unfortunate. He’s just gonna have to pay for his existence.”

Officials said Rigdon’s son is under six months old.

She was arrested and charged with abuse or neglect of a child, authorities said. She was booked into jail and was denied bail.

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Authorities said there is an active restraining order against the victim’s father, so he will likely be placed in state custody.

Rigdon’s lawyer said in court that his client’s borderline personality disorder is being exacerbated by postpartum depression, the River Front Times reported.